


Broken Hands and Slime Pies

by ScreechingPotatoFics



Series: Time to Die, I Guess With Li [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dreambubbles, F/M, M/M, Other, POV Second Person, Reader Insert, Reader-Insert, Sopor Slime Pie, fanfic rewrite, gratuitous cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18271895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreechingPotatoFics/pseuds/ScreechingPotatoFics
Summary: In which the Reader has some hubris that results in injury, leaving them in the... mostly capable hands of someone they’re infatuated with.





	Broken Hands and Slime Pies

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Gamzee Makara x Reader](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/467843) by “The Masked Guardian/Wartortle”. 



You didn’t really mind being dead after a while. Sure, your friends screwed up so badly that every last one of you died, but there were a few upsides.

Firstly, the dream bubbles are pretty amazing. You got to see entirely different worlds just as the aliens who lived in them remembered them. Secondly, these aliens called “trolls” were actually interesting people—the most interesting of which was Gamzee Makara.

Gamzee was considered a “highblood” (someone who would be considered either nobility or royalty if they were human) but didn’t act like a pretentious jerk-face. In fact, he was pretty laid back. Or possibly stoned. You couldn’t tell, seeing as you found little comfort in the company of other trolls.

However, you’d recently found an acquaintance in a sweaty, muscled troll named Equius Zahhak. He had been willing to teach you the basics of Alternian engineering as long as you could accomplish tasks for him that required a more delicate hand.

Until your hand ended up broken after a very, very stupid decision involving arm wrestling and a gallon of milk.

You didn’t even know that dead people could get their bones broken. But in any case, you could do nothing but try not to agitate your hand and go back to your home in a dream bubble not too far away.

“Knock, knock,” came a voice from behind your door. “What the motherfuck is up?”

You could tell it was Gamzee by smell alone: sweet, almost artificially so, with a hint of sea water. Had you not gotten used to it, you would have probably gagged at the odd scent.

“Broke my... uh... grasper?” you responded as he casually strolled in. Another cultural difference between humans and trolls is that some words are different, like “gander precipice” (balcony) and “rumble spheres” (boobs, probably).

He pulled your arm as close to his face as he could, squinting at your extremely discolored fingers.

“Man, your human prongs are fucked,” Gamzee said slowly, tilting his head (also called a “nugbone”) to the side. “Are they fuckin’... supposed to be that color?”

You shake your head.

“Not unless they’re injured. So, technically yes, technically no.”

A dopey grin spread across the purpleblood’s painted face as he slowly maneuvered your hand back down to you. 

“I’m comin’ back later.”

About two hours and a few arguments with a former friend later, he arrived in your home with a pie. Had he been a human with a normal-looking pie of a flavor your recognized, you would have accepted it without hesitation. However, he was an alien with a pie that was a nearly radioactive green. 

If you looked at it long enough, you could almost imagine it moving. And its smell? Absolutely unidentifiable. Not even a former friend of yours would be able to figure out what the hell it smelled like, but it definitely did not smell like a grocery store pie.

“Uh... Thanks, Gamzee.”

You smiled weakly, trying to decide whether or not you should throw it out when he’s not looking. After all, it could be perfectly fine for trolls to eat and you didn’t want to waste food. You weren’t raised in a barn.

“I thought maybe it would cheer you up since you’re all fuckin’ hurt and shit.”  
You both stood in silence for a while before Gamzee spoke again.

“Do you even fuckin’ like pie?” he asked, moderately dejected in the only way he could be.

You stared at the pie for a little while.

“I’m actually not sure if that’s safe for humans to eat.”

“I don’t think people can up and motherfuckin’ die twice,” he responded. 

“Good point.”

After that, you thought you might have blacked out. When you woke up, your hand hurt a bit less and you felt something dried on your face. A quick stop at the mirror confirmed that it was greasepaint—or at least the troll equivalent of such. The white had started to crust up in your eyebrows. And on your cheek was a big red heart.

A quick talk with Equius cleared things up at least a bit.

“You’ve become the highblood’s matesprit,” he said with a touch of awe in his voice. “A human of all things.”

“So we technically got married?”

“If that is your term for human romantic courtship, then yes. It looks as if you are human-married.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of the first requested fanfiction I ever wrote on the internet. I was twelve and in a very ridiculous stage, so I decided to just rewrite the damn thing. The original mess is still up on Quotev somehow.


End file.
